God’s purpose in crating people was to have a vehicle in which to reproduce his life and character. Since Adam, this plan has been thwarted by rebellion and sin. But the miracle of God’s redemptive love restores people to a relationship through which God’s purpose may be accomplished. He uses every circumstance of life to fashion his children into vessels through which he can pour his love and grace. The following is but a brief glimpse of his working in my life. In 1976, while on the way to the southern Baptist Convention in Virginia Beach, Carolyn, Damaris, and I stopped in Washington, D.C. for some sight-seeing. That evening I experienced excruciating pain in my right hip. I was taken to the hospital, sedated, and later flown home and hospitalized with a preliminary diagnosis of a slipped disc. Weeks passed while I lingered in traction, alas, to no avail. In desperation, a spinal fusion was performed. Another two months passed with no relief. Two months later exploratory surgery was performed on the hip. After surgery I was advised that an inoperable malignant tumor had grown out of the bone. A bone scan later revealed that the malignancy had metastasized and spread to my foot, knee, hip, rib, shoulder, and cranium. After the doctor left my room that night, a deep, sweet peace from him who is our peace surged within me. It was simply inexplicable and ineffable. I reached for my New Testament on the nightstand and said, "Father, if I am not going to live, I want to count. I need a word from you." There surfaced in my mind a passage of Scripture that I had memorized years before. "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with which we ourselves are comforted by God" (2 Cor. 1:3-4). "Oh, Father, I understand. You are going to send me through the valley so that I can comfort others with your comfort when they walk there." Then there came that inner nudge that said, "Read on." Verses 8 through 11 revealed this promised to my heart:
We were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despair even of life; indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves in order that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God, who raises the dead; who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, … you also joining in helping us through your prayers, that thanks may be given by many persons on our behalf for the favor bestowed upon us through the prayers of many.
I put down the Testament, rejoiced in the Lord, and later slipped into a peaceful refreshing sleep. Was I rejoicing because I felt I would live? No! I was rejoicing because it really did not matter. My life was under his control. I rejoiced because of a wonderful awareness of his love. Verse after verse that I had memorized began to surface. First John 4:18 exploded in my consciousness. "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts our fear, because fear involves punishment, and one who fears is not perfected in love." I knew that nothing could come into my life without God’s permission. If it came with his permission, then I knew that it surely came with his grace to deal with it. Living and dying is not the issue of existence, but whether he is permitted to reveal his character and life in me. The joy of living is permitting God to do through us whatever he has in mind for each day. Most people’s lives are crucified between two thieves, yesterday and tomorrow. God can only give forgiving grace for yesterday. He stores no provision of grace for tomorrow. Tragically, most of us live in yesterday and tomorrow, in that devastating land of "What if?" God has adequate grace to deal with yesterday if it is put in his hands. But his grace is poured out one day at a time. The person who has not learned this will never live victoriously. He will always be vulnerable to circumstances. In other words, I learned that God does not give dying grace on nondying days. To worry about tomorrow is futile, as well as sinful. It occupies my time and mind with things God did not intend, thwarting his grace and power in my life. Today, God is permitting me to teach a thousand young seminarians how to share their faith. He is also permitting me to be the channel through which he is comforting those who walk the painful valley of cancer. My doctors tell me that I am "incredibly normal again." I am not rejoicing that I am well again so much as I am rejoicing in the glorious fact that Jesus is Lord. I can boldly say with the apostle Paul:
Yes, and I will rejoice. For I know that this shall turn out for my deliverance through your prayers and the provision of the Spirit of Jesus Christ, according to my earnest expectation and hope, that I shall not be put to shame in anything, but that with all boldness, Christ shall even now, as always, be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain. But I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose. But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better; yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake. And convinced of this, I know that I shall remain and continue with you all for your progress and joy in the faith, so that your proud confidence in me may abound in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 1:18-26).
PRAISE HIM
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